Funny One Liners

• If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong


• Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt


• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice


• When in doubt, mumble


• Never tell your problems to anyone. 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them


• You’re never too old to learn something stupid


• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine


• Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button


• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate


• Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted


• Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”


• It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose


• If you can’t convince them, confuse them


• Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes


• No one is listening until you fart


• Only dead fish go with the flow


• The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it


• AWESO__ is incomplete without ME


• Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege!


• A hard thing about a business is minding your own

Please share this blog (if you like). It may put smile on someone's face :) Don't forget to visit Success One Liners.

Also see:Quotes by World's famous 500 people